With our debrief derailed, we gathered around the box her associates delivered.

  “What’s inside?” I asked curiously.

  “Protection!” Vernie decred. “What was Euphridia thinking, sending you two here with no real offenses or defenses?”

  “To be fair, she was aiming for the holy city,” Nora remarked. “I’m sure we were supposed to suit up there.”

  “Rae-Rae’s old armor isn’t there, though.” Vernie shrugged. “Some scoundrel stole it a few years back after they pulled it from the castle ruins.”

  “Scoundrel?” Nora bobbed on her tiptoes. “Maybe one with fming red hair?”

  “So you’ve heard of her, eh?” Vernie shot her a grin before continuing in a more serious tone. “They had it on dispy to the public, still covered in dried blood like some gruesome sideshow attraction. Couldn’t let that stand so…” Vernie trailed off with a shrug.

  I stepped back from the box. “I don’t want to see something like that…”

  “I didn’t leave it that way. It’s all fixed up now, good as new!” Vernie cpped sharply, and her two goons lifted the top off the box. The inside was thickly padded and lined with purple velvet. Vernie drew off the top yer of fabric with a dramatic flourish, revealing a silver half-pte ensemble that had been polished to a mirrored sheen. The cuirass, gauntlets, pauldrons, and tassets were embossed with an ornate gold iny along their edges.

  “Oh, my!” Nora breathed. “It’s beautiful! Rae, you gotta try it on!”

  I picked up the shimmering cuirass with trembling hands. Raelynn wasn’t the type to be overprotective of her possessions. In fact, she hated to see things go to waste, especially if someone had a need for it. “As long as I take good care of it and give it back as soon as I’m done with it… then it’s all good, right?”

  “Give it back?” Vernie crossed her arms. “What are you talking about? It’s yours to begin with!”

  “Haa…” I sighed. “Well, let’s just see if it fits, okay?”

  It was like it was made for me. Even the straps only needed minimal adjustment. Everything fit together so perfectly, and it wasn’t nearly as heavy as I thought it might be. I needed some help to get into it, though.

  “Well, how do I look?” I asked as I put my hands to rest lightly on the tassets covering my hips.

  “Squeal!” Nora cheered in a high-pitched voice. “If you had her monastic scapur, you’d be all set!”

  “Monastic… what?”

  “Sometimes mistakenly called a tabard?”

  “Umm…” It sounded familiar, but…

  “Like a surcoat?” Nora continued.

  “You mean the apron thing with all the fancy embroidery?” There's no need for a giant bullseye, thanks.

  “Apron thingy?! You can’t call it that!”

  Are you mocking my word choice? You just shouted ‘squeal’ out loud!

  “But you knew what I meant, so…”

  “Never again!” Nora insisted.

  “Alright, alright. But anyway…” Reality settled back into my thoughts. “Isn’t this armor, even by itself, pretty distinctive? Even if I keep my mask on, it will attract attention.” Unwanted attention.

  “Only criminals wear masks in Turri. Dumb ones, anyway,” Vernie crified as a side note. “You’ll have to get rid of it.”

  “How about I trade it for a helmet?” I asked hopefully, recalling that the slight bump on the back of my head was still there.

  “Rae-Rae, you don’t wear a helmet! Then nobody could tell you’re you!” She was missing the point! Both of them, actually…

  “I think I should protect my head… or at least what’s left of it…” I grumbled. “And I think it would be best to keep hiding my face for now.”

  “... The best I can do is this,” Vernie murmured, handing me a polished steel circlet. “Just don’t let anyone hit you in the head anymore, and you should be fine.” It’s not like I purposely got hurt!

  I grunted and pulled off my mask, balling it up and stuffing it in my rucksack before donning the circlet. “I can still wear my cloak over the armor, right? I’ll just keep my hood up and my hair pulled back. …”

  Aleph nodded. “That will help you hide, for now.”

  I didn’t like how he tacked on that ‘for now’ at the end.

  “What about Nora?” I asked. “How can she protect her assets?”

  Nora tittered. “Now that one, I like. Asset protection.”

  “There’s still more in the box,” Vernie asserted as she turned to Nora. “Help yourself.”

  Nora rummaged around momentarily before pulling out an intricately banded set of brown leather armor. Its wide, overpping straps were encased by chainmail, while a more traditional soft leather backing allowed for a nicer feel against the body.

  “The banding allows for a greater range of motion,” Vernie expined. “In case you find yourself in tight spaces, as we discussed.”

  “Fantasy armor that adds plus 5 to defense and charisma? I’ll take it!” Nora smirked. Why did she call it fantasy armor? Oh, no chest pte.

  “Shouldn’t there be a little more coverage here?” I asked. “I mean…”

  “You always were a prude,” Vernie remarked sharply.

  “Not a prude! Prudent!” I folded my arms. What’s the point of wearing armor if those are exposed?!

  Vernie pulled out a small metal chest pte and snapped it in pce. “Better now?”

  “There goes my charisma bonus,” Nora sighed whimsically. “I’ve never seen armor you could do that with, though.”

  Huh? Really? It seemed standard fare to me.

  “It’s adjustable for different occasions,” Vernie waved her hand in the air. “However, neither armor set would survive a direct attack from a powerful demon, so don’t be fooled by a false sense of security!”

  Nora and I nodded a bit numbly in response. It was going to take us a while to get used to Vernie.

  “I want to see if I can put this on myself,” Nora said as she stepped away for some privacy.

  “Get used to carrying around a sword again.” Vernie handed me a longsword sheathed in an engraved scabbard she had dug from the bottom of the box. “It’s no Will of Euphridia, but it’ll do for now.”

  I drew the sword from its scabbard. It wasn’t physically heavy, but it felt cold and somehow draining. My bat back home was a blunt weapon that had other purposes. I had even hit a few home runs with it back in the day. Swords have only one purpose, though, right? “Ah…”

  “Don’t worry, we’ll retrieve your real one soon enough,” Vernie cimed, misinterpreting my apprehension. “Now, where was that targe…” She practically dove into the box, rifling through the loose padding.

  I was going to be over-equipped. How could I possibly manage it all and my rucksack? “It’d be weird… to walk around with a sword, a shield, and a staff, right?” I suggested. “Better to keep the blessed weapon on my person, I think. I mean, demons and all…” Then I could ditch the sword and shield and forget about the advanced level of hero dress-up we were pying.

  Vernie gave me a look that mixed concern and pity in equal doses. “Rae-Rae. You need quick access to all. Different tools for different situations. Turri is not very forgiving right now.”

  I gnced at Aleph, and he nodded slowly. “... Alright,” I murmured as I absently buckled the sword around my waist. I pnned on ignoring it for now, seeing as I wasn’t sure I could use it with any skill or grace. As for the targe, I opted not to buckle it to my forearm but to slide it through the carrying loop of my rucksack, turning it into little more than dead weight.

  Tetora rumbled behind me. “We will review basic sword and shield movements… soon.”

  Not too soon, I hoped.

  Aleph cleared his throat. “Yes, Rae and I will do exactly that.”

  A snap of electricity appeared between the gre they shared, but Tetora was the first to break it. “Fine, start with the beginner’s course. When you’re ready, I’ll show you some proper moves!”

  Aleph looked at me with chestnut eyes, his face lost in thought. “The First lesson is in just a few minutes. The sooner we start, the better,” he murmured before moving to set up an area to practice.

  Before I could really protest, Nora snapped her fingers from behind us, and I whirled around to see her strutting for all the world like a runway model. She even had the haughty expression of someone who refused to look you in the eye because you just weren’t worth her time. I cpped dutifully just as she stopped before us, put her hand to her hip, and struck a pose. Her green cloak fluttered around the armor, and I was just a little suspicious she had used Ventos again under her breath.

  “Very cssy,” I noted.

  “Multi-cssy,” she agreed. “Soon, I’ll be the queen of all trades! Then I–oh! Sword! Show it to me!”

  I drew the sword and handed it to her, handle first.

  “Hmmm…” After brandishing it, Nora considered the bde. “Not for me.” She gave it back, and I returned it to its sheath. “Ranged attacks are more my style, I think. Let me change what I said. I’ll be the queen of all suitable trades.”

  “Ahh... I guess I better learn something about this then,” I sighed wistfully as Aleph waved me over.

  Aleph’s first lesson was intentionally short, probably because I started off by saying, “I don’t want to kill anyone. I know swords aren’t toys, but sshing down people isn’t really—”

  “The first lesson will be how to avoid using it that way. We’ll go over how you can use the bde's ft side to strike someone without causing too much damage.”

  “Wait. Isn’t it live by the sword, die by the sword?”

  He looked at me curiously. “Why limit yourself to those two choices?”

  “No, no, the code of the bde and do or die or...” I paused, thinking about every self-insert swordmaster epic I had ever read. Your sword is your destiny? Kill or be killed? Isn’t that the inevitable end of all those who wield one? However…

  I paused, then said, “Raelynn... used her sword as more of a symbol, didn’t she?”

  “Wherever she could get away with it,” Aleph smiled. “This conversation is very nostalgic, in fact.”

  “Huh?”

  “By the time I met her, she already knew how to kill. She worried about that more than anything. She wanted to learn careful weapon handling. Sometimes, the most important lesson is knowing that we can use a tool in more than one way. Hmm…” he paused, folding his arms. “We’ll skip the shield for now. Instead, why don’t you show me how you would hold your sword?”

  I huffed but drew the bde again, gripping it as tightly as possible with both hands.

  “No,” Aleph said firmly, taking the sword from me. “Let’s try a handshake grip. Offer me your hand in friendship.” That sounded easy enough. I held out my right hand expectantly, and he pced the sword hilt in the curve of my palm. “Now, grip the sword with your other hand as well. No. Too tight. Rex your right-hand grip and move your hand down away from the hilt just a little. That’s right, you can even put your right thumb on the back of the hilt for extra control.”

  I looked up and down the sword shaft, trying to note my hand pcement. “Now what?”

  He picked up a stout stick and broke off several leafy side branches. “Parry me. When you can tap my shoulder with the ft of your bde, the lesson’s over for the day.”

  “What if I hurt you?!”

  Aleph ughed for a moment, then frowned. “Oh, you’re being serious. I apologize.”

  He wouldn’t dare ugh harder… but still…!

  “You won’t,” he said. “I know you, and I know that you’re scared right now. Remember to rex your grip and have fun while you learn to work the sword like a lever.”

  Have fun?! This is your idea of fun?!

  I did try to tap his shoulder, I swear. But eventually, my arms were just too exhausted to keep going. I spped his stick with the ft of my bde several times, but his shoulder… Well, that was a very lofty goal, figuratively and literally.

  “Let’s call it here,” Aleph smiled again. “And look. We’re both still very much alive. Next time, we’ll talk about a pommel strike.”

  “Pommel strike?”

  “Yes. In fact. I suggest using it when you’re in... the ox stance!” I stared suspiciously at his face for a moment, trying to discern if he was teasing me. Again, he had such a serene poker face!

  “Is that even a real thing?”

  “I wouldn’t mention it if it weren’t,” he shrugged. “But enough lessons for now. Let’s get moving.”

  Euphridia